Saturday, August 26, 2006

The Vegetables Are the First to Go

MY BLOG MOVED ABOUT A YEAR AGO TO THEFATGIRLCAMP.BLOGSPOT.COM





Anchoring Myself

In the Hindu religion, Ganesha is the blocker of obstacles. I am using Ganesha as my picture right now on my blog because I am grateful for the obstacles being blocked. It has taken a while to get back to my writing. I appreciate all of your notes to me asking about my whereabouts and if I'm okay. It's helped me stay in touch with myself, if only slightly.

I think the miracle I have experienced mostly is being able to tell myself the truth and believing it and then taking action. They say relapse starts way before the first bite is taken. I haven't relapsed yet, but the warning signs are there for me to see. However, I didn't want to see them until a few days ago when I didn't want to make or eat vegetables. It started with the vegetables...I just couldn't be bothered with the preparation of them and they seemed so boring. It wasn't until last night while I was in my new addiction of internet chatting that I realized what was happening to me. I was surrendering my serenity and peace of mind by not putting my recovery first. It is a double-edged sword, because the friends I've made online have given alot to me through humor and love and most of all, fun! However, when I surrender the order in my life because I'm having fun...and it interferes with my sober life...then we get to call it another addiction. It's all about balance. Balance in all things.

After being abstinent for almost 90 days now, things have become more comfortable for me and I forget that my very life depends on me following a food plan. After all, I am a food addict and the only real hope is that I have one day of reprieve from this vicious addiction. ...And leaving vegetables out might seem like a small incident to most, but to me...I know this is the disease creeping its way back into my life.





I took action today though. I participated with life outside of my house and away from the computer screen and felt the sunshine on my face and saw the sailboats on the bay and was reminded how beautiful life is and how much sweeter it is when I'm free from the grips of the nasty disease.




...And I made some vegetables!

8 comments:

Lori said...

Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables. I sit here feeling guilty because my poor mother gave me vegetables from her garden and I didn't use but a tiny tiny fraction of them. It is a sign that I need to watch; am I eating vegetables? Today I had a salad and that was it. Thanks for reminding me that I'm not the only one who has issues w/ vegetables. (Maybe I should be a vegetarian and either live healthier or get thinner by not having anything to eat....)

Jonathan at Jack Sprat talked about getting his veggies all bagged and cleaned the moment he gets home but I am tired at the end of the day from work and/or gym and it's all I can do to honestly put it away in the fridge. Sheesh.

Glad to see you back!

SignGurl said...

I wish I would learn to head my own warning signs *sigh*

Your witty posts have been missed.

Kimberly said...

Yay, vegetables! I love the vegetable chart - wait, is that a *gasps* tomato? Shame on them :)

BigAssBelle said...

vegetables are like the canary in the mine for me: a first warning, thank you for the reminder because . . . hmm, when did i last eat a veggie? and corn does NOT count . . . so i think it was SATURDAY. wonderful. thank you.

BigAssBelle said...

vegetables are like the canary in the mine for me: a first warning, thank you for the reminder because . . . hmm, when did i last eat a veggie? and corn does NOT count . . . so i think it was SATURDAY. wonderful. thank you.

Michelle said...

Hey there Michele (o:
I'm glad to see you've posted, I've been wondering about you.
Also, I'm very impressed that you noticed the warning signs early and are taking action. I need to be that vigilant.
Anyway, I hope you have a nice week.
~M

Lori said...

Hey Michele, I went to the grocery store tonight and bought some vegs and did what Anne (altopower) suggested; roasted them. I roasted some of the grape tomatoes and the squash but I forgot about the red peppers. So tomorrow, I'll roast them.

You get the credit! Thanks so much! Bigassbelle, that's a very good analogy; canaries in the mine. I need to pay attention. Work work work. (Imagine Mel Brooks saying that from Blazing Saddles...)

We'reAllNuts said...

I miss your posts!

I also understand the relapse thing, it DOES start in the mind. You do something or something happens and you weaken and start to bargain with yourself in the mind first. The mind is the most important thing to change and the body usually follows. Keep up the great posts!