tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29497803.post115342140291219749..comments2023-03-22T02:18:42.356-07:00Comments on Fat Girl Camp: Let Me Know Where Ya Land, Kid!FunnyBitshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16754280190924901499noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29497803.post-1154631312809853082006-08-03T11:55:00.000-07:002006-08-03T11:55:00.000-07:00Michele,Just wondering if you're okay..It's been a...Michele,<BR/>Just wondering if you're okay..<BR/>It's been a few days since you last posted. I hope all is well.<BR/>~MMichellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17573880820317909555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29497803.post-1154622936364218842006-08-03T09:35:00.000-07:002006-08-03T09:35:00.000-07:00Wow. Thanks for putting this out there and sharing...Wow. Thanks for putting this out there and sharing it with everybody. We have father issues in my family. I find myself trying to make up for the absence of my daughter's father. I just want to be able to love her enough to make up for it. And I know I fall short. But what you are doing, getting down to origins of hurts is part of the process of understanding and forgiving and moving on. At least, that's how I see it. Thanks again.Cindyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06400492104098347769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29497803.post-1154146835134181102006-07-28T21:20:00.000-07:002006-07-28T21:20:00.000-07:00I wish I could weave some words together to make y...I wish I could weave some words together to make you understand that even though you had no true father figure who loved you...you are loved regardless.<BR/><BR/>My Dad was the complete opposite of yours. I simply cannot imagine having lived my life without my Dad who was my greatest supporter. I miss him every day. <BR/><BR/>You are a brave soul who is coming out of the darkness. Writing about the pain from the past and how disappointment has molded some of your life habits is healing. Hard. Tough. Draining. But healing.<BR/><BR/>You are loved!<BR/>BGMouthy Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13390913450937641605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29497803.post-1154091202922927962006-07-28T05:53:00.000-07:002006-07-28T05:53:00.000-07:00I can relate to the 'absent father' in some ways b...I can relate to the 'absent father' in some ways because my father was an alcholic and rarely available to me even though he lived in the same house.<BR/>A friend of mine once told me, as we shared our stories about our families, that my 'father' was not my 'father' and I should stop looking to him for that support and love. He said the definition of a father is someone who protects and guides you and gives you a strong foundation from which to launch out of. <BR/>That idea really helped me see how strongly I still wanted the father I never had and how futile it was to still hope for that connection after all this time. <BR/>Over time I was able to see how childlike I was in a lot of my friendships/relationships - always looking for that security by defining myself according to what they wanted of me or what I could do to make sure they loved me and were never<BR/>disappointed with me. Exhausting way to be.<BR/>I love the last bit here because is it so positive and I believe it truly is the right direction. Unconditional love was the way I learned to forgive my father and love him for who he is now. He still is not able to give much in the way of love but I don't need it in the way I did, I guess because I have healthy relationships now.<BR/>Your quote at the end sounds like the practice of 'loving kindness' in buddhist meditation. It is especially important to practice it with people we have difficulites with, otherwise we get tied up in all of that muck and it's hard to grow as a person.<BR/>It seems to me you are well on your way!Kyraylynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10765310721063972839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29497803.post-1153893658256774612006-07-25T23:00:00.000-07:002006-07-25T23:00:00.000-07:00I am so incredibly moved by your blog about your d...I am so incredibly moved by your blog about your dad and how he affected your life. It took a lot of courage to write that, my friend, and I am immeasurably proud of you. Watching you on your journey has been an inspiration and I wait with curiousity as to what comes next. Keep up the amazingly heroic work!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29497803.post-1153879076011078542006-07-25T18:57:00.000-07:002006-07-25T18:57:00.000-07:00I like the quote you give at the end -- it's such ...I like the quote you give at the end -- it's such a contrast to your story & makes me think that maybe the hole that so many of us carry, or through which we keep falling, is fillable only with the genuine, healthy love we GIVE. To ourselves, if we can, to strangers, to other strugglers & stragglers. & perhaps, too, fillable with the healthy love we allow IN.<BR/><BR/>Someone taught you how to love: thank God for that, you know?<BR/><BR/>fmkFrances Kuffelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14928021465309402200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29497803.post-1153872393488831562006-07-25T17:06:00.000-07:002006-07-25T17:06:00.000-07:00Michele, boy, it was hard reading this. My dad nev...Michele, boy, it was hard reading this. My dad never had the highs and lows like you describe but he did drink. A lot. And he had a temper. And he never mentioned my weight either except when I lose weight. <BR/><BR/>I'm so sorry you didn't get what you needed. You deserved it as a kid and you deserve it now. <BR/><BR/>The things you say about your mom makes more sense to me too; it must have been hard for her to have been so disappointed with him as a husband and as a father. I would have shut down quite a bit too and been afraid to give my heart to anyone really. And your brothers too.Lori G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02167055316077502640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29497803.post-1153867155889859872006-07-25T15:39:00.000-07:002006-07-25T15:39:00.000-07:00I'm so sorry that your father couldn't love you in...I'm so sorry that your father couldn't love you in the way that you deserved (and deserve) to be loved, Michele.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02700614225224691712noreply@blogger.com